Meijer interview questions

I had to complete all the team leader courses before they would interview me for the position.

O my where do i start. First of all the interview process took 2 and a half months alone. The interviews had no questions or concerns in them to depict me from Johnny or Sue also applying for the same job, so a baby could of passed the interview. Then after im told i have a job but i need to pass a background check, which by the way took another month and a half, and a drug test. Why does a background check for a 17 year old high school student with no previous credit, employment, etc. take so long? Ive done so much research on background checks that i can fill one out for myself in a day or two but obviously they wont allow that. After the background check comes in i take the drug test and it takes another week for them to call me and tell me im officially the president of the united states. Now i can completely understand this sort of wait if this was a higher position but to push carts at minimum wage it requires almost 4 months of paperwork and etc.? Meijer you seriously need to reconsider this whole union deal.